


Whispers of Soft Nothings

by SymphonicScream



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chloé Bourgeois Redemption, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Good Teacher Caline Bustier, Light Angst, Multi, Secret Relationship, Secret dating, fuck audrey, i tried something new
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28131813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SymphonicScream/pseuds/SymphonicScream
Summary: Nothing happens all at once, everything comes from something. Sometimes the gradual shift, the build, is easy to see, but most often it's only seen in hindsight.Alix can track the winding path of the build up, each small moment that lead up to her lying on Chloe Bourgeois' floor, staring up at her ceiling as she hides from the figure that had so rudely interrupted her night
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Anarka Couffaine/Caline Bustier, Chloé Bourgeois/Alix Kubdel, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 51





	Whispers of Soft Nothings

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to sorryjustanotherpersonsuniverse for giving this a look over for me :) Thanks Cap

Alix let out a breathy sigh as slim, lithe hands tangled in messy pink hair, a firm grip that held her close without pulling too harshly. She let her lips slip across a soft cheek, spurred on by the giggling beauty beneath her. Alix tucked her face into the other girl’s neck, just taking a second to take everything in. She felt so unbelievably safe and warm as she listened for the soft beat of life of the other girl.

“Alix,” the blonde’s voice was barely audible, only heard because of how close they were pressed. A hand tightened in her hair as the girl squirmed with impatience, and Alix felt a soft smile pull at her lips, warm and gooey and filled with all the other gross words that described how this girl made her feel. She nipped at the skin below her mouth in retaliation before trailing butterfly kisses back up to lips parted in a silent gasp.

She paused just a centimetre away, raking her eyes over the features she’d already committed to sweet sweet memory. Being as close as she was, she could chart a course across the map of faded freckles, which had grown nearly invisible over the last few years. A soft huff of intoxicating breath danced over her face, and she trailed her eyes up to meet deep pools of blue, affection nearly hidden by a glint of restlessness. 

“Something the matter, Princess?” Alix tilted her head to the side just so, struggling to keep her voice at that perfect level where it was just quiet enough that her words were for the blonde’s ears only. 

The blue eyes narrowed up at her in challenge, one hand leaving its spot buried in Alix’s hair to grab hold of her chin. Alix’s forehead met the other girl’s as she was pulled forward. “Stop teasing.”

A warm ball burst in her chest at the tone, and it felt like Alix’s heart just might burst from her chest singing undying praises. She let out a soft chuckle, ghosting a soft kiss at the corner of the blonde’s waiting lips. “As you wish, my darling.”

The other sighed in content when they resumed the soft kisses they’d been exchanging earlier. The world outside the soft embrace of the blonde simply stopped existing to Alix, who let herself be consumed by the hazy fog that always settled over her mind in the presence of the girl that held her heart willingly captive.

Alix’s ears picked up on a soft sound that managed to break through the other girl’s verbal dam, the soft warmth in her chest flaring up. She just  _ had _ to hear that heavenly sound again, she decided, pressing further into the blonde’s loving embrace. Her own hands, wrapped around a soft waist, tightened their grip on the thin fabric of a striped shirt. 

She let one hand start to drift lower, lower,  _ lower _ , to the raised edge of the shirt, where soft, warm skin lay just previously out of reach-

The air was pushed out of Alix’s lungs as a socked foot pushed against her stomach, sending her tumbling off the side of the bed without notice. She hit the floor with a grunt, pain flaring up in her shoulder from the sudden impact. Her mind, still clouded from the blissful cloud of love, struggled to piece together what had just happened, what had resulted in her lying on cold wood flooring, staring up at the plain ceiling.

“Miss Chloe, your father sent me to remind you of your early flight to New York tomorrow.” Butler Jean spoke calmly, and the soft smile he always directed towards his young charge was audible in his voice. 

If Alix knew Chloe, and she knew Chloe quite well, she’d guess that the blonde was fighting off the rising heat in her face. She probably swallowed heavily, licking at her lips like she did whenever she was particularly nervous about something. “Yes, thank you Jean.”

“Are you alright, Miss Chloe? You appear quite-” the man paused briefly, as if choosing his words carefully, “-flushed. Do you feel ill?”

“No!” The blonde heiress squeaked, no doubt flushing even darker now. What Alix would give to see her face at that moment, all wide blue eyes and warm red cheeks.  _ Adorable _ . “No, Jean, I’m- I’m quite alright. Thank you.”

The room was silent for a still moment, Alix’s recovering mind stretching the mere seconds into what felt like hours blanketed in a tense air. Finally, the footsteps of Chloe’s trusty butler faded away, and Alix let the breath she was holding out when she heard the door shut behind him.

Worried, apologetic eyes leaned over the side of the bed, Chloe’s face still dyed deep red as she winced at the sight of Alix’s rumpled form on her bedroom floor. “I’m so sorry I kicked you, I panicked.” A slight pause. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

“Nothing to worry about,” Alix wheezed, “my shoulder broke my fall.”

The heiress lowered a hand to help the young skater back up onto the bed, and Alix felt any frustration she held in her tiny frame seep out as her girlfriend placed a soft, healing kiss against her hurt shoulder. Oh, and how could she forget, her lips were hurting too, wouldn’t you know?

Ending up on Chloe Bourgeois' floor was, unfortunately, not uncommon for Alix these days. Some nights, while her racing mind and heart refused to slow long enough for her to find sleep, she mused over how her life had flip turned upside down. But, like a broken record player doomed to spit out the same line for the rest of its existence, she determined that she didn’t mind one fucking bit. 

-

_ Blue eyes. So similar to the soft, warm ones seen in the sweetest of dreams, the eyes that often reflected adoration right back. Blue eyes, colder than ice, sapping any feelings of warmth that had been lying dormant in her chest. The air in your lungs was squeezed out, stolen as you were dragged down into the freezing ocean boring into you. Blue eyes, the colour of hatred. _

-

It hadn’t started all at once, of course. A butterfly effect, Alix supposed. Specific dominoes knocked over along the way that all led up to what had become reality. Life worked that way in general, but on lonely nights Alix liked to trace her way back through the fallen dominoes of fate. She’d peak at the dominoes left standing only in passing, wondering briefly if she would’ve ended up in the same place if only one thing changed. Was that Alix as happy as her, or happier? She preferred not to dwell on it too much.

The first domino toppled when they were six. Alix’s family had just moved to Paris from Egypt, her father landing a position as curator for the Louvre. They met at a banquet hosted at the Agreste mansion, filled with the stench of greed and corruption. Dresses and suits worth more than necessary, false smiles and predator eyes and words that cut and tear and rip others apart. The Kubdels stood out like sore thumbs, sincere and new to the scene.

Alix, known then as Alixandria, hadn’t yet considered dying her dull brown hair or touched a pair of skates. Her French was imperfect, stilted, her young mind too used to the Arabic she’d grown used to. Chloe lived with both parents then. She hadn’t yet grown that prickly, hard outer shell that kept anyone from getting too close to the chipped glass heart that rested within her. 

Alix and Chloe were six when they first met. They were six when blue eyes met deeper blue for the first time. They were six when they stayed up half the night, sugar-high from juice, and Chloe whispered about all the things she wanted to show Alix about Paris as Adrien snored softly. They were six when Chloe listened as her mother spat acid words about the Kubdels, a stray drop sizzling with hatred as it ate at Chloe’s glass heart. They were six when Chloe first knowingly did something her mother had warned her against. They were six when Chloe smiled at Alix at school, introduced her to the small red haired girl who sat at her table. They were six when they met.

They were six when the first domino toppled.

-

_ Most depictions of devils had snarled fangs, teeth stained yellows, browns, red, lips torn open into inhuman grins. Imperfect, these devils were. Made to wedge fear into the heart and mind, designed to make any onlooker feel disgust to their very core. Real devils had perfect smiles. Rows of perfect, straight white teeth, not a blemish or stain in sight. Real devils didn’t wedge fear the same way. Theirs was a seed, planted in the back of the mind, growing and festering until the dark vines whispered into your very being. Fake devils wielded hate as a knife. Real devils let it drip from their words. _

-

The next few dominoes were rather close together, seemed to draw Alix down a path that seemed like the last one to lead to where it did. Each small block had tipped over near silently back then, but their shockwaves shook her to her core all those years later.

Chloe’s mother had left,  _ klink _ , took off to New York without a second thought for the young daughter she left behind, ‘unexceptional’ branded into her heart and mind. Aliah Kubdel grew ill,  _ klink _ , hiding her illness behind big smiles and cheers at soccer games and rides on her shoulders through the museum after dark and a first pair of skates. They caught it too late, the doctors had claimed. Weeks left, they said. It rained at the funeral,  _ klink _ , not a Bourgeois in attendance,  _ klink _ .

Chloe’s smile was a rare sight in public, Alix was rarely seen without her skates. Chloe learned to build a cage around her heart, Alix asked her dad if she could dye her hair. They didn’t speak much in public, at school, at parties. Echoes of harsh words rang in Chloe’s head, and Alix withdrew into herself where she could still remember the warm laughter she missed so dearly.

They were young, both weathered by life’s cruel game so early. 

At age twelve, another domino tipped over. Talk of boys rose up from the other girls in class. It seemed to pass around like some weird boy-crazy fungus, starting with one girl, before making its way through them all but Alix. At least that’s how it had felt in her young mind at the time. Why would she waste time looking at stupid boys? Nothing had changed, they were all still the same boys that the girls used to call gross and loud and rude.

Whenever asked about which boy she liked, Alix would simply scrunch her nose up and scowl. She didn’t like any of them, she parroted each time they asked. With time, they stopped asking, and the comments flowed when they thought she couldn’t hear. Alix knew she wasn’t broken, she reminded herself each morning. 

She spent less time with the girls and more with the boys. Kim’s older sister helped sneak them into movies they wouldn’t be able to see on their own, and Alix felt her breath get ripped from her chest as the female heroine on screen shared a searing kiss with another woman.  _ Klink _ .

As it turned out, Alix was pretty damn gay. That was a word she learned from the sister that had snuck them in, who had found Alix trying to calm her racing heart in the bathroom. A lesbian, she had mused, smiling softly to herself later. She rather liked the sound of that.

-

_ Hatred flowed from the woman like a roaring river, carrying away anything it flowed over. She inspected everything that came her way, throwing it aside with a hiss of imperfection. A cookie cutter life, crafted meticulously by her own manicured hands. Anything that didn’t fit was tossed out with the trash, disregarded as if there was no meaning to it at all. Only those things, those people she deemed absolute perfection were allowed to stay by her side. With a sneer of disgust, she regarded the scars and marks left of the glass heart in her palm, and tossed it into the river for the rapids to dispose of. _

-

It had started out as just another boring party, hosted by some Parisian elite who stank of imported cigars, multiple divorces, and tax evasion. To Alix they were pretty much all the same. She still remembers the burning feeling of the eyes of older men on her legs when she wore dresses and skirts, the shivers that would run down her arms as they leaned in for hugs like they were old friends. The slimy smiles, the gazes locked on her, it had all made her so fucking angry.

The looks of disgust those same men wore when she showed up to that very party, newly fifteen, hair freshly dyed a pale pink with part of her head shaved down, dressed in dark slacks and a matching vest over a crisp dress shirt, it was empowering. Her father and brother seemed less on edge that evening as well. It was maybe a week after her akumatization, and this was the first time either of them gave her space to breathe. They really made an effort to prove to her that they cared, but Alix believed they tried just a little too hard.

The Agreste’s were out at a fashion show in Milan for the week, and Alix had been fully expecting to spend the night rolling her eyes at Jalil behind their father’s back as another asskisser tried to talk the Louvre curator into some sort of weird business deal. Chloe had been a little distant since the start of the school year, and Alix had simply waved it off. With Adrien out, there was no buffer between them, no one to guide them through civil conversation.

Yet, five minutes into the event, Alix found herself being dragged away from her family with a simple reminder to keep an eye on her phone for a message about them leaving. Chloe, who hadn’t said a word to Alix, led them through the throes of the Parisian upper crust, only slowing her forceful pace when they came across an empty lounge. 

The blonde heiress looked as stunningly beautiful as she did at each of these functions. If Alix didn’t know any better, she would assume that the other girl carried the blood of the gods in her veins just from her beauty alone. Her dress that evening was the flowy pale blue one, which was the very dress that Alix recalled Chloe wearing the evening she’d told her she was gorgeous after finding her ruining her mascara on a balcony after her mother failed to show. Only Chloe Bourgeois could accidentally make tear tracked makeup look so amazing.

By then, Alix was well aware of the little flame that flickered in the back of her chest for her oldest friend. Sure, if you looked up ‘brat’ in a dictionary there was a chance you’d see a picture of Chloe at school, but Alix remembered quiet nights where she’d managed to catch a glimpse of the moonlight making a glass heart shine behind cactus armour. The added spark that Chloe carried with her was a great bonus in Alix’s opinion. She liked her life with a little flavour, after all.

“Nice to see you too, Chloe.” Alix rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “How did you know that all I wanted tonight was to be dragged around a building I’ve never been in before?”

The blonde didn’t take the bait, which was so unlike her that it flicked the switch in Alix’s brain that jump started the Concern Express. Next stop, Chloe station. The other girl looked like she was holding a national debate conference all in her head, face twisted as she paced the floor of the lounge. 

A deep breath in, a shaky breath out, and fierce blue met blue. “Have you kissed anyone before?”

Alix blinked, brain coming to a sudden stop as the words registered in her mind. Had Chloe seriously asked her that? The same Chloe that had been doing everything in her power these last few months to be around Alix as little as possible? “No,” Alix paused, “have you?”

The blonde’s cheeks took on a rather red tint quickly, those blue, blue eyes darting away from Alix’s gaze faster than she thought was possible. Her response, which came mumbled, carried the extra weight of honesty and embarrassment. “No.”

Neither of them broke the silence between them, the air between them heavy, charged, reeking of a tension that was rare for the two of them. What a fucking week Alix was having. Lately, her life was starting to feel less real and more like the old stories that her mom would read to her before bed. Monsters, destiny, heroes overflowing with all the adjectives that described the exact opposite of what Alix felt encasing her heart in her chest.

The two girls stood on opposite ends of a couch, just a few feet apart, but it might as well have been the marianas trench keeping them apart. Alix wanted to say something, say anything to get things rolling again. Patience may be a virtue, but it was one that seemed to avoid Alix like she carried a deadly plague.

Then Chloe looked up at her. The heiress, usually so composed, armour worn just so, looked completely open again for the first time since they were kids. Her glass heart, peeking out through the eyes that could rob the life from Alix’s bones with just one look. Her mouth opened, and suddenly a waterfall of words burst through, drowning any thoughts left in Alix’s mind. “I think I might like girls and I, I  _ need _ to know, for sure, so I’d very much appreciate it if you let me kiss you.”

_ Klink _ .

The young skater, face burning bright, jaw dropped open, eyes wide in disbelief. Alix must’ve taken some sort of fucking drug because there was no way that this wasn’t some high induced dream. Maybe a hallucination, just, any explanation for what she had heard come from Chloe’s mouth. “Come again?”

“Don’t make me say it again.” The blonde’s voice shook as her shoulders did, eyes glued to a spec on lint on the carpet below them. “Saying it the first time was hard enough.”

It sure had been hard enough to hear. “Okay, let me get this straight.” Ha. “You, Chloe Bourgeois, think you like girls? And you think that by kissing me, Alix Kubdel, you’ll know for sure?”

Chloe collapsed on the couch that had been between them, pressing her face into her hands as her breathing turned hard and harsh. She honestly looked like she was seconds away from snapping in two. “It’s ridiculous, I know. I just- I don’t know what else I can do.”

“And what happens after?” Alix found herself saying. Her body seemed to move on its own, plopping her down beside the other girl on the couch, sitting just a breath apart. “What happens if you don’t like girls? What happens if you do?”

“If I don’t, then I have nothing to worry about.” Chloe hissed, her voice sounding thick, meaning the girl was either crying or just about to burst into tears. “And if I do…”

When it seemed like Chloe wasn’t going to continue, Alix reached over to squeeze her knee through the material of her dress. The scales had been drastically tilted throughout their conversation, and in a desperate attempt to bring some sort of balance back to their relationship, Alix opened her stupid mouth. “I’m gay.”

She felt the other girl tense beside her, heard her breath catch in her throat at Alix’s admission. Alix found that she couldn’t turn her head to look at Chloe, the sickening claws of fear crawling up from her stomach steadily. If she saw something, anything, in the other girl that suggested anything but acceptance, Alix might just hurl. That had been the first time she’d said it out loud, a full admission at least, and it was much more terrifying to have the words hang there between them, to be known to another.

“...right.” The blonde’s voice was quiet, and it sounded like she had forced the word out with all her might. “Right, of course you are. What was I even thinking?”

A heavy brick of hurt smashed into Alix’s heart, and it took every ounce of her willpower not to break down right there. Had she really read Chloe that wrong? All those years spent believing that she was nothing like her mother, that Chloe was capable of empathy and genuine care for others, were they all to waste? It just, it felt so unreal, for things to turn out this way. For Chloe to turn out this way.

“That came out  _ so _ wrong,” Chloe cursed, turning her body to face Alix. A soft hand came to rest at her chin, and the shorter girl found herself looking up into the eyes of the other. “Look, Alix, you mean a lot to me. I know I don’t show it, but, ugh why is this so hard?”

“You’re, uh, doing fine.” Alix supplied, only able to produce what had to be the most awkward smile in the entire universe. Was this going where she thought it was? Had she been right all along?

The blonde nodded hesitantly, swallowing thickly. “Right, yeah. You’re gay, and I’m glad that you felt comfortable sharing that with me. It, means a whole fucking lot. I just can’t believe I asked a gay girl to help me figure out if I like girls.”

Alix felt so very warm in that moment. Yeah, that sounded more like the Chloe she knew. The reminder of the blonde’s earlier request fueled something impulsive in her, and before she knew it, she was spilling words out into the room again. “Do you still wanna find out?”

The blonde was shocked into silence this time, floundering like a fish out of water. “I- you mean, you’d be willing to? To, kiss me?”

Alix shrugged, trying to act as casual as possible. What was more casual than kissing the girl you had some sort of feelings for to help her determine whether she liked girls? “I mean, yeah, what’s the worst that can happen? You telling me I suck enough to reassure you that you’re straight?”

That one got a laugh out of her. Chloe’s eyes, filled with humour, took on a sharp glint. “Maybe, or maybe I’m just so good that you end up falling for me?”

“As if.”  _ Too late for that _ . Alix leaned towards the heiress, ignoring the twist in her gut at the sight of Chloe blushing as she drew closer. “Maybe you’ll suck so much you’ll turn me straight.”

“You? Straight?” Chloe inched forward, pausing just as their noses were about to touch. “Don’t make me laugh. If anything, I’ll be making you gayer.”

Alix let her eyes stray from Chloe’s to her lips, slightly parted, glistening with what was probably some flavoured lip something or other. Just one quick surge forward, and she’d be kissing Chloe Bourgeois. “Guess we’ll have to find out, yeah?”

It was clumsy, the kiss, both girls inexperienced and out of their element. It was a simple press of their lips, but it had Alix’s heart bumping overtime in her chest. It lasted a second, maybe two, before both girls were pulling away to check the other’s reaction.

One of Chloe’s hands came up to caress Alix’s cheek, and before either of them knew it, they were meeting back in the middle. Their second kiss wasn’t much more coordinated than their first, and their third was a little better than their second. 

Eyes pressed closed, Alix leant her forehead against Chloe’s, trying to hide how hard she was panting from three little kisses. She let her eyes flutter open, taking in the flushed face of the blonde girl before her. “So? Your verdict?”

Chloe let out a shaky breath, the hand on Alix’s face dropping to her lap like it was dead weight. There was the smallest twinkle of fear in her eyes as she stared back at Alix. “I think I might like girls.”

“Valid.” Alix smiled softly at her, blindly searching for her hands to give them a comforting squeeze. “I won’t tell anyone about this, just so you know. You can tell whoever you want whenever, but know that I’ve got you back.”

They stayed in the lounge for the rest of the party, sitting shoulder to shoulder and talking about anything and everything and nothing at all. In the car ride home, safely out of Chloe’s sight, Alix licked at the gloss that had stuck to her own lips. Lemonade. How very fitting.

-

_ There are many types of power in the world, but the kind she holds is sinister. One wrong step, and the world will come tumbling down around you with a snap of her fingers. Connections, favours to be collected, threats to be made, she had it all at her fingertips to ensure the day ended in her favour. If she so wished it, she could take everything you cherish and hold close and rip them from your heart. The control she held over people was strong, based on a firm foundation, but it wavers more each day. Her control relies on fear, fear of her and what she could do, but as you grow your fear lessens, and so does her firm grip on your very being. _

-

The biggest impact came over a year later, and Alix was absolutely sure that this one was her favourite so far. A day would come when a new domino would tip over and steal Alix’s heart from this one, but for now, she treasured it dearly.

Chloe’s Fifteenth Birthday Bash, the cards all read, passed out to each student in the classroom like pastries from the Dupain-Chengs. A lot can change in a school year, and Chloe had grabbed change by the neck and wrestled it to the ground with her own bare hands. It hadn’t been all at once, but as the days ticked by into weeks, into months, it became blaringly clear that something had snapped in Chloe’s mind, taking the toxic venom that used to coat her words and actions and simply tossing it out like it was nothing. 

Alix had never felt so fucking proud.

They hadn’t spoken of the night of that fateful party, but a week later Alix had received a text from the other girl that simply read ‘its no longer just might i like girls 4 sure’. Chloe went back to how she treated Alix in years previous, with nods and sly smiles and conversations. So, like they were actually friends. It was nice.

The party was rather straightforward. They were to show up to the hotel in pyjamas of their choice, text Chloe their pizza order before arriving, and look forward to a night of games and snacks and movies. There was an option sleepover for anyone interested, with comped breakfast in the morning for those that stayed. Alix had held back a snicker as she read the fine print at the bottom of the card, stating that presents were not mandatory in any way, but that any brought would be accepted.

Alix arrived with everyone else, mind a jumbled tangle of nerves and doubt, feeling like an underground fighting ring had taken up rent in her gut. A small package burned a hole into her back through her pack, sending waves of unease directly to her brain. She was going to do something bold that night, and each tick of the clock was a harsh reminder of what she had promised herself to do.

Chloe, who’s beautiful eyes had gone soft when they found Alix’s form in the pack of classmates that had made their way into the hotel suite the blonde called home, greeted each guest personally. She made slighted comments about some of their outfits choices, like Rose’s large black hoodie with a skull dripping blood on the front, the soft pink scrunchie in Juleka’s hair, the bear onesie Ivan wore, hood and all, Nathaniel’s fur lined crocs. Each tease was accompanied by a wink, a smile, some sign that they’d learned was Chloe’s way of distinguishing her ‘affectionate’ words and her criticisms.

The group sat among a field of pillows and blankets, carefully arranged by Chloe, Adrien, and Sabrina before anyone had arrived. The three of them beamed at their work, and encouraged anyone who brought more to add on to the comfy chaos that had taken over the area that had once been the sitting room in the heiress’ space. Alix nestled into a warm corner between where Kim was pretending to drown in a rather plush section and the birthday girl herself, who greeted her with a soft wave of the hand not pulled into Alya’s lap to be painted.

The paints were passed around, and Alix folded over herself as she struggled to breathe through her laughter as Kim tried to use his teeth to hold the brush steady enough to get the pink polish on his fingers. Marinette, who had accepted his ridiculous challenge, proudly held up her black and green set, dual brushes still between her lips. Cheers broke out in her victory, whoops and hollers as Kim nearly let his wet hands fall onto the plush arena around them. Max grabbed hold of his wrists and held them up as Adrien, stars in his eyes, asked her if she could give him Ladybug nails which started an outbreak of requests for hero based nails.

“Hey…” Chloe dropped two little bottles into her lap, one snow white, the other pastel powder blue, her face a lively hot pink. “...mind finishing my other hand? Reporter girl’s giving her boyfriend fox nails.”

Alix fought down the rush of warm affection that surged to match her face to the blonde’s, side eyeing the black and yellow she’d hid under her knee when Ivan had knocked over the bin as he tried to find the perfect shade for Mylene to give them matching pinkies. “Only if you’ll return the favour.”

Alix’s heart fought to break through her ribs as a soft hand took hers and laid it out on a fleece covered leg, and she hoped that her pulse wasn’t strong enough in her hand to alert the other of just how much a simple touch to her hand was affecting her at the moment. She got to work on the hand that was slipped her way, refusing to accept the idea that it was more than a mere coincidence that the other girl wanted the same colours as Alix’s hero persona. She hoped Chloe didn’t notice the theme in her own colour choices.

Pizza arrived, they ate, Kim challenged Alix to a race across the comfy plateau and they both tripped and slipped their way across in socked feet, Rose took everyone under oath to keep an eye out in case Juleka tried to eat anything with dairy in it, Adrien taught the guys how to do Sailor Moon transformations in retaliation to Sabrina casually revealing he’d been Sailor Moon every Halloween she’d known him for.

The night went by almost too fast, filled with smiles and sugar and eventually the dumbest movies Nino brought from his personal collection. Watching someone react to Space Jam for the first time is a fantastic way to spend an evening. 

Kim dropped first, sugar fading from his system as the credits to the Bee Movie rolled along, taking Max down with his weight. The class started dropping like flies, scattered across the sea of blankets and pillows. Alix made sure to snap a picture of how close Mari and Adrien were curled up for Alya, who was busy snoring against Nino’s back, hair a messy bush around her.

She was the only one up by that point in the night, which meant it was time to enact her plan. A moment to pump herself up, and Alix crawled her way over to the corner that Chloe had taken up with Sabrina when the movies had been turned off. She shook the blonde’s arm lightly, trying to avoid waking anyone else. “Psst, hey, Chloe.”

The heiress grumbled, hands pushing away Alix’s in a weak attempt to return to her sleep. “Kubdel, kindly fuck off.”

“This is important.” Alix insisted, pinching at an exposed elbow. “C’mon, please? It’ll be quick, I promise.”

“...fine.” She pulled herself from Sabrina’s arms, and when the ginger girl didn’t budge, Alix led them into Chloe’s room, only stopping to pick up her discarded backpack along the way. She shut the doors softly behind them, turning to face the other girl in the darkness of the empty room. “So what was so important that you just had to drag me over here in the middle of the night?”

Not quite ready to let the words out into the world, Alix rustled through her bag, until her fingers found the small box that hadn’t left her mind since she saw it in a shop’s window the week before. A deep breath, and she pulled it free, holding it out to the blonde for her to take. “Wanted to give you your gift.”

“And this couldn’t wait until morning?” Chloe’s voice had grown quieter, warmer, softer, private. She took the gift into her hands gently, took the lid off with trembling fingers, and froze. Alix could only just make out her eyes in the low glow of the moon seeping in through the crack in the curtain, wide and unblinking at the gift. “Oh.”

Alix shifted on her feet, chewing on her lip as the silence between them grew longer, into an unbearable mass that threatened to swallow her whole. She couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t go through with her plan. “I, saw it and it just, just-” the words were building up in her throat, banging at the doors that just wouldn’t fucking budge, “-I had to get it for you.”

“Why?” That one word, muttered so quietly, was packed with far more than a single word should be able to hold. It felt thick as it pressed against Alix’s chest, winding her like she’d wiped out on her skates. That one word, carrying the weight of Alix’s whole being, her whole heart, without Chloe even being aware. “Alix, _ why _ ?”

Eyes squeezed closed, lungs gulping down a greedy sum of air, releasing it slowly, heart about to burst into a million little pieces. The tangles in Alix’s throat tightened, forcing the words to stay put against her will.  _ Say it _ , she ordered herself, mind screaming at her body to listen, to kick into action and get the damn thing over with. A flash of a glass heart shimmered in her mind, a memory of soft blue and sweet lemonade and fingers painted white and blue overtaking all else. Teeth dug into a quivering lip, the sharp taste of copper slipping over her tongue acting as a warning. There was no return from this, one way or another.

“I love you.”

_ Klink _ .

The air in the room snatched the words from her lips, feeding them until the weight pressed down on her. Alix felt incredibly small in that moment, as insignificant as an ant on the sidewalk. Who was she to utter something of that caliber to her, to the girl who had never felt so far away as she did in that moment. To the girl who had yet to speak, yet to breath, blink, react in any way to the words that projected the blonde’s reflection staring back at her from within Alix’s glass heart.

“I love you, Chloe-” the silence was suffocating, squeezing each word from Alix’s chest until the tidal wave was slamming into the girl frozen in front of her, “-and not in the way that I love Kim or Adrien, and not in the way that I love my dad and Jalil. It doesn’t feel real, the way even just thinking of you sets my heart into overdrive, how your smile twists me all up inside, how your eyes erase any other thoughts in my head. You, you make me feel so fucking much and I can’t even make heads or tails of any of it, Chlo.”

Alix kept her eyes firmly shut, making a conscious effort to breath out of fear that she might suddenly collapse from lack of oxygen otherwise. Not that she felt very good anyways, the icy pain frosting over her body, a desperate attempt to numb anything that could feel the oncoming sting of rejection.

It didn’t come. “Are you- is this a joke?”

Alix could feel the wobble in the voice that reached her ears, she could taste the anxiety, the sharp tang of doubt and worry and years of expectations shattered in the worst way seeping into her very soul. Throat so very raw and dry, Alix choked down a sticky swallow of charged tension. “I could never joke about this.”

A quiet thump, the soft tings of metal against metal. Alix let one eye slide open, before both nearly popped right out of her head at the sight of Chloe, hands shaking and stunning eyes of blue spilling silent tears, struggling to attach a chain to her wrist. Silver, the band was, smooth and shiny with a simple, solid clasp on the side. A single clear gem in the shape of a heart held safely between it. Inscribed on the inside, where no one would see it as it pressed against the soft underside of the blonde’s wrist had the words ‘for the girl who holds my heart’ etched into the metal.

Once the bracelet was secure, blue met blue. Alix dared to hope, opening the gate in her chest and watching the dove within to see if it would simply leave without another look. Chloe still had tears tumbling down her pretty face, a deep rose colour creeping up her neck to her ears, passing a trembling pair of lips. 

It happened rather suddenly, as Alix remembered it. Perhaps her brain had simply shut off at the first sign of movement only to shock back into itself as their noses bumped for just a moment before Chloe corrected her course. No matter how it had started, Alix knew for sure that she was once more kissing Chloe Bourgeois.

She didn’t get a chance to respond before Chloe was pulling back, one hand cupping Alix’s cheek, the other fisted in the front of her sleep shirt. She gaped as the blonde blinked down at her, a flash of a tongue peeking between her lips before the words falling from them registered. “I, you mean the world to me Alix. Like, I’d tear the world apart for you, if you asked me to. You, you’ve always believed in me, no matter how fucking shitty I got or how low I fell. You,  _ fuck _ , you make me feel like I could be more than just my mother’s perfect little creation, or her ruined masterpiece left to fade in some alley.”

_ Holy shit _ , the only words that her mind could piece together with the fallen tower of children’s blocks her thoughts had become. A short, nearly hysterical laugh slipped out of her, then she found herself pulling the blonde back down against her. She wound her arms around a pale, slim neck, and tried her damn best to pour all the warmth that had erupted in her chest back into the other girl.

Their first kiss, and by extension their second and third, had been hesitant, dressed in the best they owned and hidden away in their own private world. These, oh, these were something else entirely. It didn’t carry the grace of practice or experience, and it was far from the messy, burning ones she’d seen portrayed on screen. This spoke of words unspoken, raw feelings and thoughts transformed into actions that Alix could tell she would never be able to forget.

They parted at times, never leaning too far from one another. They must have started shuffling at some point, because with a soft yelp Chloe was falling back onto her stripped, plush bed, dragging Alix down onto her. Their eyes, pupils blown and reflecting whole hearts met, and the duo fell into a puddle of muffled laughter, faces pressed into shoulders to keep the integrity of their solitary midnight paradise.

The whole night felt like some kind of magical dream, a world so fantastic that Alix wished she’d never wake up from it. She rolled off of Chloe, catching her breath with a goofy smile painted on her face as she stared blankly at the ceiling. “Fucking, wow.”

“You can say that again.” Chloe sounded awestruck, each word formed slowly and carefully like her mouth was regaining feeling after being numbed. “But first, could I just say something super quick?”

A slight hesitation, a small, cold spike of worry piercing the sun glowing in Alix’s chest. “Of course.”

“I-” a pause, a hissed breath, “-I wanna have things with you. Things like what we just did, things like dates, things like holding hands and telling everyone I meet about how lucky I am that someone as great as you love me.”

“...but?” Alix almost didn’t want to ask, she didn’t there to be a but. Because, she wanted those things too. She wanted to be able to call Chloe her girlfriend and scream from the top of her lungs that she had the greatest girl in the world looking at her like she held that title herself. She wanted cheesy nicknames and mushy texts and to wrap an arm around her and glare as she guided her away from any of the men that would try to eye up Chloe at those atrocious parties like she was some slab of meat.

“But.” Chloe echoed on the tailwind of a sigh. A trembling hand snatched one of Alix’s from its lazy resting spot on her own stomach, fumbling with it in a show of pure nerves. The skater tangled their fingers together, giving the hand a tentative squeeze. “No one can know I’m gay. Well, no one new. You know, of course-”  _ of course _ , “-and I just couldn’t not say anything to Adrien or Sabrina.”

That was something Alix had predicted. With their friendship on the repair, Sabrina and Chloe were trying to be open and honest with each other, and it was clearly working. The ginger girl had been gaining confidence over the last few months, making small changes to her appearance without consulting Chloe first. And Adrien, well, he was practically Chloe’s brother, she wouldn’t have been able to keep it from him.

Chloe didn’t pause to let Alix interject, rolling right through like she feared the strength it took to speak her truth would jump out the window if she gave it the chance. “It’s not like I wanna hide that part of myself either, but I don’t really have a choice. Daddy’s big financial supporters are the old school type, and I know without a doubt that they’d pull out of his campaign if they knew his daughter was a ‘ _ filthy lesbian _ ’.”

The blonde spat out the words like they burned acid holes in her throat, her distaste for that phrase as clear as clean water. “Not to mention what my mother would say, if she even said anything at all. She believes in conversion therapy, you know. Donates to so-called charities that run them and all that.”

“If she ever tries to send you to one of those, I won’t hesitate to manually reverse that nose job of hers.” The mere idea of Chloe being forced into an environment like that, by that woman, stoked an ugly, smoke-heavy fire deep within Alix that she hadn’t felt since her birthday. Back then it had been more directed inwardly at herself for being so irresponsible with something so precious. This fire crackled a hideous deep purple, rancid clouds of dark hatred that hungered solely for Audrey Bourgeois.

“That’s not what I’m worried about.” Chloe snapped, the hand entwined with Alix’s tightening with enough power that the shorter girl wouldn’t be surprised if she heard something pop. “She can do whatever she wants to me, she’s hurt me enough for me to accept that I never stood a chance of meeting her standards. I just can’t stand the thought of her getting rid of you, or doing something to hurt you in any way.”

Oh, yeah, that was definitely all the blood in her body rushing to her face. The sentiment was so sweet and just so  _ Chloe _ that it gave the warm, bright fire in her chest enough fuel to overpower the darkness that had been crawling up her gut. “I’d like to see her try. I think I can handle the spiritual successor to Narcissus.”

“We both know that that was a load of bullshit.” Shot down right off the bat. It was a pitiful attempt on Alix’s part really, sloppy and mistimed. “I’m sorry, Alix, but I can’t see any scenario with her knowing about us that ends well.”

It had come to Alix’s mind rather suddenly. She sprung forwards, energy recharged out of nowhere. The pink haired skater whirled to face the blonde, dropping her hand in order to cup pale cheeks in her palms. “So we don’t tell anyone.”

_ Klink _ . “...you lost me.”

“We just don’t tell anyone about there being an us at all.” Alix was probably vibrating like the energizer bunny in that moment, exuding all the manic energy of a conspiracy theorist who’d lost their mind and saw things that simply weren’t there. “We keep it a secret, just for the two of us.”

Blonde eyebrows scrunched adorably, a thoughtful twist sliding across the heiress’ face. “Run it through for me again?”

“In public, we act like nothing changed. We’d be the same Chloe and Alix in everyone else’s eyes.” They spent their whole lives from the day they met acting like they weren’t dating, so they had plenty of practice. Plus, it wouldn’t be so much of a lie as it would be an omission of the truth for the greater good. “But when we’re alone, we can do whatever we want and no one will know a thing. You said it yourself, your mother can only pull her shit if she knows.”

Her proposal seemed to finally be clicking in Chloe’s mind, if the upturning of the corner of her lips meant anything. “So, you’re suggesting that we date in secret so my mother won’t have you burned at the stake?”

Alix nodded quickly, teeth latched onto her lip to keep back the blinding smile that fought to take over her whole face. She couldn’t imagine a single flaw in her plan. If they happened to break up for any reason, they could keep it from spiralling into a dramatic mess, not that Alix wanted to think about that happening. It was an all around winner for both of them.

“God, I can’t believe I’m considering this.” Chloe laughed softly, gazing up at Alix with warm, soft eyes. Dark blue in the low light, and pouring out more adoration and affection than Alix considered herself worthy of. “I must love you a whole lot.”

Alix’s chest tightened in a good way, and she rubbed her thumbs over the supple skin beneath them. Gods, she loved this girl something fierce. “Is that a yes?”

_ Klink _ .

Chloe’s laugher chimed like pleasant bells in her ears and strong, pale arms wrapped about tanned shoulders, pulling her down until they were once again joined by their foreheads. “Y’know what? Fuck it, yeah, let’s do this thing.”

“That’s what she said,” Alix rushed out the joke, leaning down to distract the blonde with a kiss. Her girlfriend, Alix thought with glee, Chloe Bourgeois just agreed to be her secret girlfriend. They pulled each other closer, resuming the actions that had brought them to their little plot.  _ Hm, lemonade _ .

They were six when they met, and they were fifteen when they became so much more than just friends. They were fifteen when they took up the biggest secret they’d ever carry.

-

_ Secrets are a cancer. A small one may seem like nothing big, a tiny speck in your mind that whacks against the walls of your head so weakly you barely acknowledge its there. But they multiply and build up and expand when you least expect them to. One little secret attracts another, building up a magnetic charge so strong that you can’t slap a cork in your mouth and call it a day. All secrets make themselves known at some point, and sometimes delaying the inevitable fall out is worse. But on the rare occasion that you must, absolutely keep a secret that gets out, stand your ground. People like her, the ones that must be hid from, eat up secrets like it’s going out of style, devouring them and spitting the acid that crawled but up her throat on you like it was your fault she opened her gullet and let it all in. _

-

They’d been hiding rather successfully over the last few weeks, Alix was proud to say. Her shoulder was still a little sore from her tumble from the bed the other night, but it dulled to a faint murmur under the racket of the stereo of her mind blasting Chloe’s affirmations on repeat. 

They’d nearly slipped a few times at first, of course. Jalil would find Alix staring heart eyes at her phone and ask what was up. She’d stumble over something about a video of Kim being an idiot or Adrien sending some silly pun, when she’d been memorizing each detail of the beaming smile Chloe wore in the newest photo sent just for her. By the way she was acting, she wouldn’t be surprised if Jalil was convinced she had a thing for either of her closest guy friends.

Freshly back from New York, Chloe had the girls of the class staying over at the hotel so they could be the first to hear all about New York and how much of a raging bitch Audrey was this time. Alix, arriving just behind Juleka and Rose to not raise suspicion, squeezed the blonde extra hard during their greeting hug. Yeah, Alix had been fucking lonely with her girlfriend in New York, even with the contant presence of the little white time god she carried around now.

That was something that was proving useful in ways they’d never expected. Miraculous powers made it so much easier for either of them to sneak across the city in the middle of the night for stolen kisses hidden under the dark blanket of the night. It was also super nice when Chloe would rub at the false ears atop her head, even if the action made her foot flutter against the ground.

The girls settled into the sitting room, this time having been converted into an elite Chloe/Sabrina Fort of Total Privacy, something Alix remembered from the very first girls night she’d been allowed to attend as a kid in Audrey’s absence. It was built to hold them no matter how rowdy the group of girls caught, the soft walls soaking up any word that bounced their way. That was how Sabrina described it as she proudly presented it to the group, at least.

Alix noted the newly added fairy lights, and curled up in the corner closest to the spare weighted blanket that was kept at the hotel on the odd chance Sabrina forgot to bring her own to sleepovers. She’d learned all this from Chloe, of course, who sounded much like a proud parent when she rambled on about how Sabrina was getting so much better. 

Alix didn’t voice how proud she was of Chloe’s own journey after the first try had embarrassed her girlfriend just a smidge too much.

The other girls got comfortable in the fort, and Alix had the perfect view of Chloe from across the fort. Sure, she was sandwiched between Alya and Juleka, but the next best thing to being curled up with Chloe was getting to stare at her freely without the fear of giving them away.

The night was going smoothly before Alix’s phone chimed in the pocket of the oversized flannel pyjama pants that had been bought for Jalil by an aunt who had missed the memo about just how truly tall he’d gotten. Alya and Sabrina had been discussing discrete ways to slip poisons and special herbs into food while the she-devil wasn’t paying attention when it buzzed softly three times. Alix hadn’t even noticed Chloe had pulled out her phone, and tried to check the message as discreetly as possible.

** Honey Blossom ** : my room. come up with some reason to sneak out. I missed u <3

** Honey Bun ** : be there in a hop <3

Chloe got up with a quick mutter about getting something she wanted to show them from New York and shuffle out of the fort, sparing Alix just a single sly glance on the way out. Alix counted down their usual countdown, before casually flipping open her pocket watch. She forced a cringe, letting out a soft curse under her breath.

It got the desired reaction. Juleka raised one eyebrow at her, her whole face visible in the way that it rarely was, pulled back in a ponytail. “Something wrong?”

“Realized I forgot to take my morning dose of the focus M&M’s.” Rose giggled at the little nickname she’d given Alix’s ADHD pills back when she first started taking them a few years before. 

Juleka frowned slightly, long dark hair swishing behind her as she tilted her head ever so to the right. Marinette chuckled, speaking up before Juleka could. “Ah, I do that all the time. Adrien’s made it his own personal mission to check with me before class and after lunch.”

“Adrien, huh?” Alya switched modes quickly. To her, Marinette and Adrien’s relationship was like water to a fish. Mylene scooted closer to listen in, and Alix crossed the three of them off her list. The last two were going to be the hard part.

You see, Alix had noticed that Juleka had been suddenly paying her more attention than usual lately. The fact that it had only really started just after she and Chloe started their sneaking about was what made her really nervous. It felt weird to think, but she was starting to suspect Juleka was some sort of Lesbian Bloodhound. 

“I’m just gonna go take that missed dose now.” Alix fought to remain casual, but the feeling of Juleka’s eyes trained so heavily on her made her feel like she was walking through a funeral dressed as a rodeo clown. “Dad’ll kill me if he finds out I overlooked it again.”

Rose just smiled at her as she passed, turning back to Juleka to tell her about all the plants she knew were harmful for humans to consume. Juleka’s eyes followed Alix until she was safely outside the warm little fortress.

She pushed her way into Chloe’s room, where she found her girlfriend perched on her bed with her carryon from the plane laid out beside her. They hadn’t gotten a chance to be alone since the blonde returned from overseas, until now, that is. Chloe didn’t comment when Alix made her way to the bed as quickly as she could, and Alix didn’t comment when Chloe broke their initial kiss to press rapidfire pecks across tanned cheeks. 

“I missed you so fucking much,” Chloe sighed, lips brushing against the shell of Alix’s ear. The heiress practically pulled the shorter girl on top of her as she fell back onto the mattress, once more letting them resume the slow sweet kisses that made Alix feel like the universe existed solely within Chloe Bourgeois. 

Alix simply hummed in response, nipping lightly at her girlfriend’s lower lip. Chloe’s soft gasp was everything to her, just like the nibble she received in retaliation. “Yeah?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Alix had a pretty good idea from how she’d felt in Chloe’s absence, but more talking meant less kissing and she had a good couple to catch up on.

“Woah-” a voice from the doorway startled them out of their daze, and in an instant Alix found herself sprawled across the floor once more. She groaned softly as she let everything sink in. Juleka was at the door. Alix was on the floor. Juleka had seen them, and was still standing at the door. Alix hoped the floor would swallow her up. “-uh, sorry about that.”

Juleka was at least understanding of their situation, and promised to not say a word about it to anyone else, not even Rose. And hey- it got her to stop staring at Alix like she was a jigsaw puzzle. 

Chloe had kept her face buried in Alix’s shoulder after she pulled her back up onto the bed, and the skater could feel the heat of her blush through the fabric of her hoodie. “I can’t believe we screwed up already.”

“Hey, one mistake in a couple weeks isn’t bad.” Alix ran a hand through Chloe’s hair, basking in the fact that she’d let it out of her standard ponytail. It was a rare sight. “We’ve had like, thirty akumas in that time, I’d say we’re doing just fine.”

~

It happened again two days later.

They’d been super careful that time, Alix was sure of it. Both had told all their friends that they had a banquet to attend, when in reality they’d been granted the rare permission to skip out. Adrien was at a shoot across the city too, so their night should have been perfect. Only, it seemed they forgot to account for how fucking unpredictable their classmates were.

Alix had taken Chloe on a small walk through the woods, promising the perfect picnic spot at the end. And perfect it was, up on a hill overlooking the glow of the city from outside. Alix had been sure that she was the only one that knew it existed, and after a dinner of homemade soup stored in a thermos, Alix broke out her special treat.

“Chocolate strawberries?” Chloe gasped, eyes shimmering at the sight of one of her favourite treats from the party they were missing. The third party caterer that provided the treats for the events held by that night’s rich geezer of the week was no Mrs Cesaire or the Dupain-Chengs, but their chocolate work was divine. “Gee Kubdel, you sure you’re not growing soft on me? This seems rather cheesy, even for you.”

Alix grinned in response, picking up a berry from the container. She winked at her girlfriend, and the flush and brilliant smile she received in return were nearly enough to take her breath away. “You haven’t seen cheesy yet, Darling.”

The shorter of the two held the treat right up to the blonde’s lips, and felt a little thrill in her chest as Chloe bit into the fruit. She felt the lightest brush of lips against her fingers, and she knew for sure that bringing the strawberries was the right choice. “They good?”

“Fuck yes.” Chloe raised a hand to cover her mouth as she groaned, berry and chocolate still in her mouth. She finished the first fruit, licking at the chocolate that had stuck to her lips. “You wanna try?”

Alix nodded, ready for Chloe to return the favour by holding a fruit out for her. Instead, her mouth dried up like a desert as she watched Chloe bite off another fruit, holding it in her mouth a moment to let the juice and chocolate really settle on her tongue. Surely, she didn’t actually want Alix to really do it, did she? She got her answer in the sharp shine in those frustrating, pretty blue eyes.

Of all the weird couple shit they got up to, this had to be the weirdest in Alix’s book. Like, seriously, feeding each other was one thing, but this? Wild. There was a challenge in those eyes, and Alix couldn’t refuse a challenge, especially one as sweet as this.

Okay, so, regular closed mouth kissing? Great, wonderful, Alix was a huge fan. But oh boy was this another thing entirely. Alix must’ve lost a few brain cells in the ordeal, or maybe a fuse had blown in her head, but she couldn’t recall the flavour of the treat when Chloe, just as flushed as she was, pulled back to ask. It did earn her another kiss though, so it counted as a victory.

That’s about when Sabrina walked up the path to the trail, freezing when her eyes registered the sight before her and dropping a metal canteen against the rocks. Alix and Chloe jumped apart, staring in wide horror as they recognized their friend giving them the same look right back. Sabrina looked between them, at the basket and blanket, at Alix’s dark hoodie wrapped around Chloe and the lemonade lip gloss smears across Alix’s cheeks. 

“Sabrina!” Chloe squeaked, clearing her throat to try to get her voice back to its regular octave. “What are you- I-”

“Had to get out of the house,” Sabrina mumbled, voice so utterly drained. “Guess that was a mistake. Make room. You got any food left?”

Second time around, explaining everything went a little bit smoother, and Sabrina swore to take it to the grave. She ended up staying with them the rest of the night however, and neither Chloe nor Alix felt comfortable getting too close with company.

~

Alix hadn’t even met Kagami before she stumbled upon their secret at the next party, one they were unable to skip. Adrien was back, and had talked his father into letting him invite Kagami along apparently. Alix wasn’t too sure on the details. Jalil, who owed Alix, had gotten both her and Chloe a glass of wine before they disappeared through the halls to find themselves on an isolated balcony far from the crowd of the party.

Once out in the night air, Alix had wrapped her jacket around Chloe’s shoulders, using the lapels to pull her into the first of hopefully many warm kisses that evening.

They took everything slowly that evening. They sipped at their drinks as they chatted quietly, nestled right up against each other as they leaned against the railing. Alix had noticed that the distance between their shoulders had been slowly shrinking as of late, which she took full advantage of. Which meant she wasn’t standing completely on her toes as she leaned up to drop another sweet kiss at the corner of Chloe’s mouth as she finished off her glass.

“Stop it, you.” The blonde giggled, but simply just snuggled up closer to the shorter girl. They say actions speak louder than words, and Chloe’s were screaming that she was a hypocrite. Alix, not stopping for a second, decided to see just how many little kisses she could get in before Chloe stopped her with a full one. “Alix! H-hey, cut it out!”

The blonde was laughing through her commands, robbing them of any power they could’ve held. Alix totally would’ve kept up with her slew of affection too if the balcony doors hadn’t opened behind them, Kagami standing there in silent shock at the sight of them. 

“Again?!” Chloe burst, throwing her glass on the ground. For some reason it didn’t shatter, merely bouncing and rolling until it bumped uselessly at Kagami’s feet. “We have got to be fucking cursed, I swear to gods.”

Kagami blinked hard, her expression more awkward than the stony ice that Chloe had warned her of. “I apologize for interrupting your, activities.” Alix felt her ears grow red hot. “I lost track of Adrien while we were searching for his friends. I assume that’s you?”

“Alix, nice to meet you.” Alix held a handout for the fencer to shake, impressed by the strength in her grip. “But uh, please don’t tell Adrien about what you saw.”

Kagami had tried to argue that she never lied, but as soon as they explained what would happen if word got out, she was practically swearing her allegiance to them and offered to turn Audrey into a kebab.

~

Alix hated the next slip up most out of all of them. The school’s lacrosse team had been at an away tournament, and the whole class had shown up to support their classmates on the team. Out of the whole tournament, Alix was the only girl, which meant she had the locker room to herself. Well, one school had a female coach who was using it as extra storage so her players weren’t overcrowded in their room, but her team was playing and there was no chance that she was interrupting.

Chloe gasped in her ear as Alix kissed under her ear, very grateful that her girlfriend had decided to wear a scarf that day. They typically had a No Marks rule, which Alix had brought up when Chloe had come marching into the locker room to kiss her silly. “Fuck the rules,” Chloe had hissed, and things had progressed from there.

If Alix knew that a reward like this was up for grabs for just scoring a few points, she would’ve insisted on Chloe attending their regular matches. Sure, her usual motivator of spite towards every man that laughed at the sight of her still worked just fine, but making eye contact with a very flushed Chloe for even just a second had filled her with so much raw power.  _ Gay power _ , a voice that sounded suspiciously like Juleka hissed in her mind.

Chloe tugged on Alix’s hair, which was still sticky with the sweat she didn’t have time to scrub out, its usual mess amplified by each celebratory nuggie Kim had given her for each point scored. Alix’s fingers curled into the sides of the warm, black knit sweater her girlfriend had worn that day, resting at her waist. The blonde shivered against her as Alix let her teeth drag across smooth skin-

“Hey Alix have you seen my- oH MY GOD!” Kim waltzed right into the locker room, which wasn’t supposed to happen for so many reasons, only to immediately cover his eyes with his big stupid hands. Of all the fucking people at that tournament, and it had to be Kimbo that had discovered them. “I didn’t see anything I swear!”

Chloe slumped against Alix, grumbling angry things that Alix felt were better off left in the moment. Alix let out a hell of a sigh, expelling the weight of several hundred elephants through her breath. “Relax Kim, there’s nothing to see.”

Her teammate did not remove his hands, which was fine by her, she wouldn’t mind watching him fumble his way through the room blindly like a newborn giraffe. “I don’t trust you.”

It took them about a minute to get him to lower his hands, and just when she thought she’d have to spend the rest of their rest between games explaining the whole ordeal to him in toddler terms, he stopped her with a raised hand and a proud smile. “Don’t worry, I got this. You and Chloe are dating but you can’t tell anyone for some reason and now you have to kill me to keep me from spilling. As your ultimate wingman, I will eagerly lay down my life in the name of love.”

_ What an idiot _ , she thought fondly. Chloe made it very clear that no one was being killed, unless he stuck around the girls locker room much longer. He left pretty quickly, following Alix’s instructions to talk to their teammate Jakob about his missing mouth guard.

Alone in the room once more, Alix raised one eyebrow at Chloe, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her towards her once more. “So, I still have time before my next game. Have any idea about how you wanna spend it?”

“Oh yeah.” Chloe purred, only to push Alix’s forehead back with one finger. “You need some sort of shower.”

Alix hadn’t been there for the next slip, if she could even call it that. She’d been talking in the courtyard with the rest of the class while Chloe stayed behind with their teacher. Alix only got the details later that night, having snuck into the hotel as Bunnyx after her girlfriend had asked her to come. Alix had arrived expecting the blonde to want cuddles or to subject her to another horribly gorey movie, the kind only Chloe and Rose could like.

Rather than that, she found the blonde practically bawling in her bed, a letter spread out on the sheets in front of her. Alix had immediately assumed her mother had done something, which was an assumption that had plenty of basis to it. The pink haired girl dropped her transformation quickly, rushing to the bed to comfort her. “Chloe?”

“Alix,” Chloe reached out for her, and the second they made contact the blonde was sobbing into her chest. She hiccuped a few times, and Alix swayed them from side to side. It was something her mom used to do when she’d run home crying from scraped knees or bee stings, and it appeared to do the trick. 

“Wanna tell me what’s up?” The shorter girl whispered softly, rubbing circles into a shaking back. She held the blonde as she slowly came back down from her emotional high, sobs making way for deep breaths and soft sniffles. 

Then Chloe told her what happened after class that day. She’d stayed back to talk to Ms Bustier about a question she had regarding the essay they’d been assigned, and then she’d gotten the message that her mother had, once again, cancelled her trip back to France the day of. 

Ms Bustier had caught Chloe’s reaction to the message, and their meeting switched from essay discussion to their teacher trying to comfort Chloe. “I’m sure your mother did everything she could to make it.”

That had snapped open the floodgates, and Chloe was spilling her whole life story to the woman, from her mother ditching her with the Agrestes as much as possible, leaving to New York, harsh criticisms, not even knowing her name, it all. Their relationship had been swept up in it, put into the light through shaking words and tears that just kept coming.

Alix couldn’t be mad at her for it. Hell, she was just a little glad that Chloe had finally let go of everything she kept bottled up so deeply inside like that. It wasn’t good for her, and she’d been worried that it would creep up into her lungs and drown the blonde. 

Chloe passed the letter over when she finished her story of the meeting, letting Alix read it for herself as they curled together in the dark room. In Ms Bustier’s flawless handwriting, was assurances that Chloe wasn’t broken, or unfixable, that she was doing so well, that people loved her, and that she was accepted. It warmed Alix’s heart, and she put it aside carefully so she could say the same things herself into Chloe’s hair until she inevitably called her soft and put on a movie.

~

Adrien, as it turned out, was not quite as romantically dense as they had thought he was. Okay, he was still going through his Just A Friend thing, but there must’ve been a trade off somewhere in his mind that gave him mad insight into other people’s feelings. 

It was their first real date, around people, in a restaurant. Their dates before had been real dates, yes, but this was the first time Alix and Chloe were poking the bear and going out. It was a rather small restaurant, the discrete kind where people who wanted peace would dine. The tables were pretty far apart, the lighting low, comfortable. It was perfect.

They sat across from each other in a little booth near the back, holding hands atop the table as they sipped at their waters and smiled shyly. They’d been together for months at that point, but suddenly Alix felt as if she were holding Chloe’s hand for the first time, like some shy little kid with a crush on the pretty popular girl. 

Alix found that she didn’t want to break the silence between them in that moment. Some silences were heavy and thick, filled your lungs until you struggled for air. This one was like a warm hug, wrapping its arms around them in a way that screamed of home and love and all things good in life. It was perfect.

“Oh, hey guys.” So of course it was ruined. Adrien strolled past their table casually, waving with his usual sunshine smile. He didn’t look surprised to see them, and either he hadn’t noticed their hands, or he simply didn’t see anything unusual about it. “How’s your night going?”

The girls exchanged a tentative look. If they could play this right, maybe they could keep Adrien in the dark about it. He did his best, but sometimes he let secrets spill when he let his guard down. Alix cleared her throat softly. “Hey, Adrien. We’re good, yeah. How about you?”

“Wonderful, thank you for asking.” He pointed towards the path to the washrooms, taking a step back from their table. “I was just on my way to wash my hands, so I’ll leave you to your date now.”

Alix froze.  _ What did he just say _ ? Chloe turned to face him head on, disconnecting their hands in the process. “Wait, did you just say date?”

Adrien tilted his head, eyebrows drawn together in a look of confusion. “Yeah? Cause you two are dating.”

Holy shit, this wasn’t happening. “How do you know that?” Alix asked, struggling to keep her voice down. “Who told you? Was it Kim?”

“No one told me,” Adrien laughed, “I could just tell. You guys are super cute together.”

Chloe dragged him onto her side of the booth, and they did their best to tell him that yes, they were dating and no, he couldn’t tell anyone. They let him go when they were sure he understood completely, and both girls collapsed against the table as soon as he was out of sight.

“We suck at this.” Chloe mumbled into the table cloth. This time Alix didn’t argue.

-

_ The thing about striving for perfection, is that nothing will ever be good enough. There will always be something better, brighter, stronger, leaving the pursuit in an endless loop of raising the stakes. A world with no faults, no irregularities, no differences, would be bland. It would be like staring at a white wall your entire life with no breaks, no blemishes, just a plain white wall. A glass heart in prime condition is worth more to collectors, who leave it on a shelf to collect dust until they sell it to someone else. A glass heart with nicks and marks and scars has less value to perfectionists, but each imperfection ups the value of the one lucky enough to hold it all that time. Each mark is what makes that heart special, different from the billions of glass hearts world wide. Those are what truly make it beyond exceptional. _

_ Happy Anniversary my love <3 _

-

Alix patted the page she’d been reading from lightly, a proud smile on her face. 

“You’re such a cheeseball.” Chloe laughed, happy, loving tears streaming down her face as she pushed lightly against Alix’s shoulder. She placed the book she’d been reading from as far from the two of them as she could, pulling her favourite blonde into her warm embrace of ooey gooey love. “Like, I can’t believe you wrote a thinly veiled hate letter about Audrey for our anniversary.”

“I’m a woman of many talents, beloved.” Alix winked as she gently wiped away the tears on her love’s face. She was rewarded with a rosie warmth blooming under her palms, and a smile that turned her heart into a molten puddle or pure adoration. 

It had been five years since that night in Chloe’s room, five years of hidden kisses and confessions and, also getting caught. By that point basically anyone who mattered already knew, as time had proven again and again that they were the absolute worst at keeping things a secret. Well, keeping them a secret. Alix was rather proud of the fact that she had managed to keep her hate Audrey letter a secret. 

It had taken her hours to find the right words for it, wracking her brain for any words that could really describe how she felt about the woman who nearly crushed her beloved’s glass heart. She’d only decided to do the hate letter after months of failed attempts at an overly cheesy love poem for her girlfriend. Somehow she could describe the hot burning fire of rage better than she seeping warmth she felt in the arms of the woman she loved most in the world. 

“You’re sure something.” Chloe pressed a soft, lingering kiss to her cheek, giggling softly as Alix swooned into her. “Say, what do you think about sending Audrey a Christmas card with, like, a professional photo of us making out and flipping her off?”

Oh, that sounded like the best idea since them dating in secret. “Kill two bitches with one stone. Coming out and telling her to fuck off, I love it.”

“Yeah, well you know what I love?” Chloe knocked her forehead against Alix’s gently. “You.”

“And you call me the cheeseball.” Alix taunted right back, just taking in the warm blanket of love they’d created over their spot on their bed. Their bed, their little apartment, their atrocious clashing mix of furniture that was just so them that they wouldn’t dream of anything else. “Adrien said he and Mari are coming over at six thirty. What time is Cal getting here?”

“Six.” That was another thing. Chloe, after one big final blowout fight with Audrey that revealed Chloe had been a bastard child to some nobody, had been pseudo adopted by Ms Bustier. Andre had apparently known he shared no blood with Chloe but loved her all the same, so the blonde had split her time living with him at the hotel and Caline. “She’s bringing the whole group.”

Great, the Couffaine troupe was joining them for Chloe’s birthday dinner too, what fun. The whole ‘our teacher fucked your mom in college and now they’re rekindling it and they’re very gay and gross about it’ thing had been very strange for Juleka and Luka at first, but that just meant that their little chaos family was growing. Their lives were a clusterfuck disaster circus. “Juleka’s eating outside if we don’t have enough room.”

“Fine by me.” Chloe hummed, nuzzling up as close to Alix as she could get. “We have two hours until anyone gets here.” Teeth scraped against tan skin. “Two whole hours, just the two of us.”

Alix felt the warmth in her chest start to simmer, and didn’t bother fighting the smile that was growing on her face. “Yeah? What’re you thinking, Chlo?”

A blink and Chloe was across the room, pulling on Alix’s discarded hoodie as she walked right out the bedroom door. The red haired woman sat there stunned, mind wiped blank in an instant. “You owe me a ride around the city, Kubdel.”

As Alix recovered, Chloe chuckled to herself, palming the small box in her pocket. Tonight was going to be grand.

END.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah there it is folks, hope you liked it
> 
> Tried something new for formatting. If you didn't catch it, all the italicized sections are the hate letter Alix read to Chloe at the end. Thought it would be something cool to try out
> 
> Didn't expect this to get as long as it did, but once I got rolling I couldn't help myself. I just love them so much
> 
> Let me know what you thought about this, if you want. Likes, dislikes, all that


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